![]() Jeremy once supplied dynamite and cyanide to the local fishermen and then openly laughed at the devastation.He secretly erased the red sea dive site map that the guide had spent 20 mins drawing and replaced it with anti-islamic slogans.During a trip to Raja Ampat Jeremy was so overweighted he smashed 4 fan corals, chipped off a giant chunk of staghorn coral, sat on 100 year old brain coral causing a massive amount of damage and didn’t give a shit.Over the course of his diving career Jeremy has got into a few scrapes! Here’s a few of his antics: Hateful ex BBC presentator and professional racist Jeremy Clarkson is a well known scuba diver. Pitbull is currently waiting on the delivery of a new trilaminate drysuit as he has incorrectly identified this as the problem for reaching his valves. Some of the feedback he received was that he still needs to work on his trim as he has a tendancy to become vertical whilst attempting shutdowns. ![]() Pitbull completed his Fundamentals course and currently holds a recreational pass. Pitbull received a lot of fan feedback saying that he was extremely underequipped to be in the water and being a precise stickler for details, Pitbull was led to GUE. Whilst making the video for ‘Timber’ the impossibly facile, novelty, wet fart of a song he helped Keisha excrete, Pitbull was filmed diving into the water with sharks. Rapping man Pitbull is often paid to shout for 30 seconds on someone else’s song. Her heavily soiled wetsuit is currently listed on eBay. During the 6 min dive, Nicole was so scared of the water that she pretended she couldn’t equalise so the instructor would abort the dive. In actual fact Nicole has done one Discover Scuba Dive when she was filming a yoghurt advert in ancient Greece. Singing plastic gonk and professional fake person Nicole Scherzinger is also an avid scuba diver and her self-edited Wikipedia page refers to her as an experienced Master Scuba Diver Trainer. As a calming measure Niall uses tipex and a fine point marker to erase the word ‘clown’ in fish books that he buys in bulk and replace it with ‘nemo’ in the same style of font as the book. ![]() Rumours abound of an aide who was very badly beaten and then paid not to press charges. Niall also insists on the fish being incorrectly identified as nemo fish and has been known to explode into violent apoplexy if someone refers to them as clownfish. Niall would never actually harm a clownfish but instead he regularly gets groupies to wear a clown fish hood that he has purchased in all sizes from Scapa Scuba. Niall has a powerful erotic attraction to clownfish and seeks them out on every single dive. Nerfherder, Niles, Niall or whatever his name is from One Direction has been scuba diving ever since he first watched Finding Nemo. Here’s a pointless list of the top 5 celebrity divers: Nothing is interesting unless someone who used to be in Eastenders does it. This time I’m taking a tip from the heaps of tree-wasting gossip rags that sell by the metric ton and aren’t even fit to serve as bogroll by bringing celebrities into the mix. ![]()
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